I just ate my breakfast while watching movie online. "The Perks Of Being Wallflower". I am not finish watching the movie but I can't let this thought to be unwritten. So, about the movie, the 20 minutes scene I watched, it kind of bring me back to school era, which is not really a good moment for me. It make me angry.
When most of my friend and not my friend think that the best moment of their live happen in High School, Me, in the opposite, do not think so. It is hell. I feel so lonely because i don't have real friend. I can't blame them. Teenager always live on something they think "COOL", and mostly avoid something that could make them "UNCOOL". Something (or someone) embarrassing, for example. Because, it could isolate them from society. Fake society. Those "cool" peoples, always live in groups. They really think they are cool when bullying other common-uncool student and unfortunately i am one of that pathetic - not so cool student.
I do have friends in school, but only in class or in common moment. They seems embarrass when their friends caught them while hang out with me. Leave or pretending doing something else is always the best choice for them. I understand why they doing that, even it hurts me. I supposed to join with the uncool groups but it is not a good choice too. I having tough time with them and they also think that I am not good enough to being a member of this uncool group. I ended up my life in high school with no best friend. Just ordinary friends that i choose not to involve any further until now. And I am not regret it. I just fine being solo.
High school is tough. Indeed. One thing that bother me is, when "those cool peoples" thinking they still live in high school.
Still thinking that they are the most cool people in the town and always bring all the old memories in every
conversation not realize the fact, right now they are just common people
who struggling everyday, try to make live from boring job or, some of
them even doesn't have job.
In movie, we always see those popular group consist by pretty girls and good-looking guys in high school, always end up miserable. It is happen in real life. What I really want to say is we, human, never knew what future is look like. The future is build from what we do in the past and present. So, when people who always make other life miserable in the past, what we think could happen with those people's life right now? Happy? I don't think so. KARMA. I like this Word.
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Saya menulis tulisan di atas kira-kira 5 tahun lalu, tapi saya memutuskan untuk menyimpannya di folder "draft". Barusan saya cek kembali dan saya tertawa. I am so full of anger when i wrote that. Glad that i did not publish it. Sekarang saya memuat tulisan ini cuma buat membuat perbandingan antara "saya yang waktu itu" dan "saya yang sekarang ini" versi yang lebih tua maksudnya.
Sebagai penulis tulisan yang sama, tentu saja saya subjektif. Saya masih membenarkan pendapat saya sebagian besar namun saat ini saya merasa tidak perlu memendam dendam. Buat apa? Saya yakin semua mereka yang saya maksudkan dalam tulisan itu tidak peduli dengan apa yang saya alami dan rasakan. Tidak saat itu maupun sekarang dan selama-lamanya. Jadi kenapa saya peduli. Ketika saya masih berkutat dengan amarah karena merasa diperlakukan tidak baik, mereka sedang tidur nyenyak. Dan mungkin saja benar menurut saya belum berarti benar menurut mereka.
Ketika bertambah usia jumlah teman justru berkurang. Lucunya, yang teringat di benak saya sekarang adalah mereka yang saya sebut "bukan teman baik" itu. Yup, teman sekolah. Mungkin saya akan menyapa mereka duluan jika ketemu nanti. Kenapa tidak?
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